So, things are going better now. I've been very stressed about moving lately and well it's shown up in more than one way I'd say. I just feel so...I don't know how to explain it exactly but ...honestly I don't want to be independant.
I'm leaving my family and most of my friends. Nic isn't even going to the same school as me!! Carina will be at Wartburg, Sue at Drake....Anita's in Virginia, Laura is in Kentucky....!!
I love having people who love me and take care of me. I love my family and now I'm moving away from all of them, granted it's only about 1 1/2 hours away, but still. If I have a stressful day or something I won't have my mom right there to talk things out....when I have exciting news, or just something silly to say, or just another person who completely understands where I'm coming from. I guess what I'm saying is I'm really going to miss my mommy. I love her so much and I treasure our close and open relationship. Lol! This'll pry sound way lame to a lot of people, but my mom is my best friend and has been since I was in middle school.
I guess we started having talks everyday, after school most days, and always on Wed nights after church. It's so wonderful having someone who you can laugh with one minute and then be completely serious the next minute and have deep deep discussions. Soul bounding discussions that go beyond anything I've ever discussed with anyone else in my life. You know those core issues that literally make you, you. The ones that shape your personality and being. Those spiritual things that other people would just call fruity...lol I've always felt like I could ask my mom anything, and I do.
She knows me better than anyone else too. ...lol better than I know myself I think sometimes. She knows when I'm thinking about Nic. She can tell if I've hiding how I feel, or if something is up. She makes me talk when I don't want too....but I really I wanted to all along and she knows it. She doesn't just let it drop. She starts listing all the good things when I freak out over bad things. I can cry with her and not feel like a baby or stupid. I can be real with her because I know she expects me to be me, not perfect. She...just...she's the person I can sit beside in my most awful outfit, with my hair crazy, no make-up, my glasses and she calls me beautiful and says she loves me and I have absolutely no doubt that it's true. She's so strong in her faith, unwavering and has taught me so much about God. If it wasn't for her, my life would've been a disaster. Most people don't even know where I was headed.... they see me now and can't imagine that I was headed straight to Hell. ...but I was, but by the grace of God, and a newly saved mom....I accepted Jesus into my heart and life and I will never be the same again. I am a new person. New.
Wow, it would be so much easier to move if I wasn't close to my mom. ..and lately I've been kind of pulling away. I think it's because I'm just trying to prepare myself for the seperation. That's one thing about moving a lot....you lean to treasure your family soooo much more. 'Cuz no matter where I've lived, they've been there for me. I may have changed schools several times and gone state to state, but I've always had parents that love me, and my siblings who do too.
I can look back in my life and I remember certain times when I was closer with different siblings and I'm so thankful to God that I have the siblings that I have!! Even though sometimes they make retarded decisions I would NEVER trade them for anyone else. I love them when they do bad things, horrible things....I love them when they do good things...I just love them so much....I just really love my family.
Thank you Jesus for blessing me with a family! Thank you so much, I'm so grateful for them Lord!! I pray that you will shower them in blessings and favor with both God and man. Thank you Lord for taking care of my family...and I'm trusting you, that you are bringing them to the saving knowledge of Christ Jesus. That they will love you like you love them....that their lives will be completey new, and they'll be on fire for you!!
Payce & God bless!
Luv,
~Nina~ | 
I feel like I actually didn't learn that much from all of my college courses. I'm worried about how my certification is going to transfer from Iowa to Texas which is part of the hold up on the job search here. Until I'm holding my Iowa certification I am just some out of state student teacher without any certification. As soon as I have it I'm an out of state certified teacher and they begin to look at my applications in a different light. Anyways that's enough for now. I imagine that since I'll have a lot of free time this summer I may start writing more regularly again.